Trusting

Trusting is hard to do. I’ve said that before. I know we slip up but it still amazes me every time we do. Do humans ever learn?

               I have no place to judge as I mess up often. I forget my place. I complain often, blame God often. Bad stuff happens and it gets to me. It gets inside me. On bad days, all my faith does is falter. We want someone to blame for our problems and that someone tends to be God.

               Here are a few examples:

               God had brought the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and was leading them to the Promised Land. Before that, at the crossing of the red sea, they had started complaining. The Egyptian army was behind them with a sea in front. “Weren’t the cemeteries in Egypt large enough so that you had to take us out here in the wilderness to die? What have you done to us, taking us out of Egypt? Back in Egypt didn’t we tell you, ‘Leave us alone here in Egypt-we’re better off as slaves in Egypt than as corpses in the wilderness’.” (Exodus 14:10-12, MSG.). Hadn’t God just sent ten plagues and brought them out of an oppressive slavery? His power had been revealed in order to set them free and yet, there they were. Yes, they were surrounded but God had already proven Himself. He did so once again by parting the Red Sea so they could cross on dry land. 600,000 men-not counting women, children, belongings, or livestock-crossed over. That’s over a million people crossing. The parting had to be wide. Further, the whole Egyptian army was drowned when they came after the Israelites.

               In the wilderness, they began to complain again. There was no food and a lot of people needed to be fed. God, being the gracious being He is, sent manna and when the Israelites began to grumble about that, He sent quail. Still, they complained.

               (1 Kings 17-19) During the famine, Elijah was protected and fed by ravens. Ravens sent by God. Later, he lived with a widow whose leftover oil and flour didn’t run out. When the widow’s son died, God brought him back to life through Elijah. The famine ended with the showdown of God’s on top of Mount Carmel. God had proven Himself over Ba’al by burning a soaked altar and accepting the offering presented to Him. However, when Jezebel sent Elijah a death threat, he fled.

               Let’s go back to my first statement: trusting is hard to do. Often, it’s seemingly impossible. When life throws a punch, it hurts and it can be hard to get back up again. When things are going wrong, it’s so easy to forget God’s faithfulness. So often, I feel like the Israelites. God has done some pretty cool things in my life and I still fail to trust Him wholeheartedly. I’ve gone back and forth between complaining and praising and it’s honestly dizzying.

               It’s impossible to trust anyone all the time, God especially. He’s in control of the entire universe, He can change the situation you’re in, making it so that you don’t have to feel the pain, deal with everything that hurts you but instead, He feels so far away, more than He’s ever been. You feel like blaming Him and often you do in situations like that. Don’t feel bad; I admit I’ve done it too. In my opinion it’s better than blaming yourself because forgiving yourself is so much harder than letting God forgive you.

               I want to challenge you, reader. I’m challenging me too. When you’re having a bad day, bad week, anything, I want you to trust God. It doesn’t have to be wholeheartedly. Just say “I trust you God” without any “buts” and try and focus on the outcome of your trial.

               James 1:2-4 “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

               Keep heart. Keep believing. Keep trusting. God has a plan. Things will work out.