Relationships
First, I want to apologize for the lack of updates. This year has been rough and my writing has paid the price. It's hard to write about God when you're frustrated with him. So, that begs the question, why has this year been so hard? In truth, I don't really know, I'm just ready for 2018 to be over. I feel like even though this year has absolutely sucked, good has come out of it. One of the things I have been struggling with, what I'm going to write about today, is relationships.
At church, it seems like everywhere I turn there's a romantic relationship or someone has romantic feelings for someone. Namely, two of my only friends. With both being 14, I have so many reservations about them dating. I am cynical to the core (another thing I've struggled with this year) and I've always believed that being in that kind of a relationship that young is only going to get your heart broken. Between adolescent hormones and the fact that you have so much life ahead of you, it just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. That aside, I've been trying to be happy for my friends and keep my cynicism to myself. Unfortunately, it's hard to be friends with a couple when you're used to being friends with individuals, if that makes any sense. Honestly, I'm at the point where I'd rather sit alone than feel like a third wheel with them. It's hard. Last year I had a falling out with my best friend and since then, I've been feeling alone and just when I was getting close to the individuals, they became a couple. I doubt they intended to but I've been feeling like I've been pushed away.
The worst part is, I've been where they are. Before my best friend and I had our falling out, we were really close. Sure we had a small group that we hung out with but for the most part, we were very dependent on each other and she was my only close friend. When we were no longer friends, I took it hard and the worst part is that I had no one to go to. I'd spent all of my time investing in her that when I suddenly didn't have her anymore, it felt like I had no one else. As important as I believe it is to have a best friend, someone close, we have to be careful not to get too caught up in that one person. After coming out on the other side of this and dealing with all the emotions that came with it, I've been able to see that we were never meant to be alone. We see that in Genesis 2 when Adam was discontent and alone. To counter this, God created Eve. Throughout the Bible, we see countless times how important people are to God. He tells us over and over to forgive one another, love one another, take care of the people around us. We weren't meant to be alone.
My church talks about unity a lot, about how even though we're all individual body parts, we have a place in the church, a place where we're needed (1 Corinthians 12:17-24). Because my parents are immigrants, I've never celebrated the holidays or anything really with my family. Plane tickets are expensive and when we were little, it was a lot easier for us to just stay home. We've been able to find family within church, in friends but more often than not, we do feel alone. People today don't really know how to have good relationships. Our friendships are built on text messages and we have to fit into busy schedules. It's so hard to connect with people. I often feel like we're more of a Frankenstein than the bride the church has called us to be. We don't know how to be a family.
Relationships are probably the hardest part of being a human. Because we weren't designed to be alone, we crave intimacy and connection but we don't know how to achieve that. It's hard to invest in people that don't seem to want to invest in you. I think that often we believe that the only way to have a close relationship is be romantic. Friendships don't seem as important as they probably should be. As hard as it is, I have to try. I feel like I've been alone for a long time now and it sucks. I don't want that for myself or anyone else. We have to learn to fight for relationships, for people. As stereotypical as it is, if we loved each other more, this world would be a better place. We can't expect revivals and reformations if we can't show genuine love to the people around us, let alone outside of church. We have to learn how to fight for people.
In closing, I wish I knew how to do that. I wish I knew how to fight for people, especially when it seems like they aren't fighting for me. All I know is I have to try. As Christians, we're called to the lost and the broken hearted; we're called to love. And in the end, maybe loving people is all we can do.
As a side note, I was wondering if anyone would be willing to see something different. Because I've been struggling with updating, I've been trying to think of ways to put something up and what I came up with was poetry, short stories, etc. I could share more of my writing. I was also thinking of writing some more personal posts, about my life and who I am. Let me know what you think. See you soon (I hope)!
-Rey.
At church, it seems like everywhere I turn there's a romantic relationship or someone has romantic feelings for someone. Namely, two of my only friends. With both being 14, I have so many reservations about them dating. I am cynical to the core (another thing I've struggled with this year) and I've always believed that being in that kind of a relationship that young is only going to get your heart broken. Between adolescent hormones and the fact that you have so much life ahead of you, it just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. That aside, I've been trying to be happy for my friends and keep my cynicism to myself. Unfortunately, it's hard to be friends with a couple when you're used to being friends with individuals, if that makes any sense. Honestly, I'm at the point where I'd rather sit alone than feel like a third wheel with them. It's hard. Last year I had a falling out with my best friend and since then, I've been feeling alone and just when I was getting close to the individuals, they became a couple. I doubt they intended to but I've been feeling like I've been pushed away.
The worst part is, I've been where they are. Before my best friend and I had our falling out, we were really close. Sure we had a small group that we hung out with but for the most part, we were very dependent on each other and she was my only close friend. When we were no longer friends, I took it hard and the worst part is that I had no one to go to. I'd spent all of my time investing in her that when I suddenly didn't have her anymore, it felt like I had no one else. As important as I believe it is to have a best friend, someone close, we have to be careful not to get too caught up in that one person. After coming out on the other side of this and dealing with all the emotions that came with it, I've been able to see that we were never meant to be alone. We see that in Genesis 2 when Adam was discontent and alone. To counter this, God created Eve. Throughout the Bible, we see countless times how important people are to God. He tells us over and over to forgive one another, love one another, take care of the people around us. We weren't meant to be alone.
My church talks about unity a lot, about how even though we're all individual body parts, we have a place in the church, a place where we're needed (1 Corinthians 12:17-24). Because my parents are immigrants, I've never celebrated the holidays or anything really with my family. Plane tickets are expensive and when we were little, it was a lot easier for us to just stay home. We've been able to find family within church, in friends but more often than not, we do feel alone. People today don't really know how to have good relationships. Our friendships are built on text messages and we have to fit into busy schedules. It's so hard to connect with people. I often feel like we're more of a Frankenstein than the bride the church has called us to be. We don't know how to be a family.
Relationships are probably the hardest part of being a human. Because we weren't designed to be alone, we crave intimacy and connection but we don't know how to achieve that. It's hard to invest in people that don't seem to want to invest in you. I think that often we believe that the only way to have a close relationship is be romantic. Friendships don't seem as important as they probably should be. As hard as it is, I have to try. I feel like I've been alone for a long time now and it sucks. I don't want that for myself or anyone else. We have to learn to fight for relationships, for people. As stereotypical as it is, if we loved each other more, this world would be a better place. We can't expect revivals and reformations if we can't show genuine love to the people around us, let alone outside of church. We have to learn how to fight for people.
In closing, I wish I knew how to do that. I wish I knew how to fight for people, especially when it seems like they aren't fighting for me. All I know is I have to try. As Christians, we're called to the lost and the broken hearted; we're called to love. And in the end, maybe loving people is all we can do.
As a side note, I was wondering if anyone would be willing to see something different. Because I've been struggling with updating, I've been trying to think of ways to put something up and what I came up with was poetry, short stories, etc. I could share more of my writing. I was also thinking of writing some more personal posts, about my life and who I am. Let me know what you think. See you soon (I hope)!
-Rey.
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