Goals for 2019
First, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I pray that this year goes well for all of you and that you overcome your battles and just have a great year.
Normally, I don't have New Year's resolutions. January and February are always the slowest months of the year so starting something then has always seemed a little ridiculous. I also believe that if you want something to change, you should do it then and there, whether it's the beginning, middle, or end of the year. However, this year I am determined to try. I hadn't really thought about it until Sunday at my youth meeting. We were all asked what our goals were for 2019. Me being me, I hadn't really thought about it because resolutions are something that I don't do. Still, for some reason it got me really thinking. I spent so much of 2018 wishing for things to change and dreaming of a better place or time, more or less wasting the time I did have. I didn't think I could change things. I still have my doubts but this year I want to try. I'm not going to lie, last year was not my best. Not my worst but not my best. I couldn't find motivation, I didn't even want to change things, let alone believe I could. This year I want to do better. So, here, in no particular order, is a list of my goals.
1. This month, I plan to publish one of my books. I'm almost done proofing it and as long as I don't procrastinate too much, I can probably have it up by next week.
2. I have a couple other manuscripts that I can clean up, one that I haven't even finished the first draft of. I want to work on those, as well as write more poetry. Last year was mostly unproductive so I want to go for it this year. I want to write until I'm sick of it, so expect more updates. I can make no promises but I'm feeling determined.
3. This year I want to be confident. I'm introverted and though I've gotten so much better, I can still be shy. Sometimes I think I might even have some social anxiety. However, I want to be confident in my quiet, in who I am. I'm realizing that who I am is okay, it's who God made me to be, and even though I'm not outgoing, I can still be confident and stand tall.
4. One thing I know I need to work on is being more positive, more joyful. On a good day, I'm pessimistic, a wet blanket if you will. It goes along with being confident but I want to have God's joy in my life. I've spent too long being miserable and I want to change that. I know that once I have that, being confident might be easier.
5. I really want to lean back into God, work on my surrender. It's one of those things I've struggled with. As much as I trust Him and believe in His power and His love, I still find it hard to let go. I know He's going to ask me to do something that makes me uncomfortable, even afraid. He's going to ask me to do things that are hard, that I'll have to rely on Him for. They're not bad things, just intimidating things, and I like being comfortable and feeling safe. Still, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that He is faithful and worth trusting. In Him, I'll find my joy and confidence.
6. I need to focus more on the things that are important. Last year I got so caught up in my emotions, in the lack of motivation, that I didn't even try. I started slacking on my school work and let my books sit there uselessly. This year, I'm going to push myself to do better and buckle down on the things that do matter rather than the things that don't.
7. As much as I need to buckle down on some things, I know that there are also times I need to relax. I've always been mature. My parents made sure that they were honest with us, to treat us like people, not just children if that makes any sense. Between my upbringing, being homeschooled, or my personality, I'm just more mature than the people my age seem to be. I'm not saying that in an egotistical way, it has made social interactions difficult sometimes, it's just how I am. I get into the habit of taking myself too seriously. Yes, it's good to have expectations for myself but I also need to treat myself gently. I need to let myself relax and live, let myself laugh and smile and have fun. It's something I don't do enough of.
8. I want to push myself musically. I want to write songs and just get good at playing guitar. I'm not naturally musical so, it's been a journey to get to where I am today. I'm now at the point where I love doing it though I do struggle sometimes. This year I want to improve upon what I already know, learn new songs, write my own. That's something I'm really excited for.
9. I want to truly invest in my relationships, with my family and my friends. As an introvert, I've always singled out on person and invested in them. I've come to realize that it's not really healthy for either party, being that dependent on someone. It's good to have a best friend but I can't just forget about the people I'm not as close to. My best friend can and should have friends other than me and I can have friends other than her. Even if I don't develop that kind of a relationship with them, they're still worth investing in and I should give them that chance.
10. One of the things I've struggled with the most over the past couple of years is a negative self image. I'm so quick to speak negatively about and towards myself. I tend to avoid mirrors and always put effort into my appearance even if I don't think that I'm beautiful. It's one of those things that I've been slowly chipping away at and I'm going to keep doing that. This year I'm going to practice self care and try to be positive when regarding myself. I need to be more gentle and forgiving when I make mistakes or eat more than I probably should have. I want to love myself for what I look like and who I am, I want to love the person God sees and find my identity in Him.
11. Like so many others, I want to be healthy. I'm not too unhealthy as I usually eat well but I love chocolate and carbs and I'm lazy. At the very least, I just want to be fit enough to run away if I ever get attacked. Unfortunately, I hate exercise. Literally. Every time I've tried to start, I quit. People are also kind of pressuring me to do it and though I wish they would stop, I know it's for good reason. I want to try because it is important to take care of my body, but I'm not sure how that's going to work out (see what I did there? :)
12. Lastly, I guess I just want to make the most out of the year, out of every day. I've wasted so much time giving into negative thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I feel like I haven't really lived. I want to try new things, challenge myself, grow and learn. I want to be present and get out of my head. I want what I do to matter.
One thing that I wanted to mention was that I'm calling these goals, not resolutions. Dictionary.com defines a goal as "the result or achievement to which effort is directed," whereas a resolution is defined as "the act of resolving or determining upon an action." A resolution is just a feeling and though I feel resolved to do these things, feelings are just feelings. I have to act, direct my effort. The reason why I've never done New Year's resolutions is because I didn't think I could. So many people give up on them before anything actually happens. They're just feelings. Goals are something you have to work towards.
This is probably my longest blog post so far. This isn't what I normally do but I thought I'd try something different. What are some of your goals for this year? Was this style okay and would you like more journal type posts? Again, have a happy new year, go achieve those goals.
Yours Truly,
Rey.
Normally, I don't have New Year's resolutions. January and February are always the slowest months of the year so starting something then has always seemed a little ridiculous. I also believe that if you want something to change, you should do it then and there, whether it's the beginning, middle, or end of the year. However, this year I am determined to try. I hadn't really thought about it until Sunday at my youth meeting. We were all asked what our goals were for 2019. Me being me, I hadn't really thought about it because resolutions are something that I don't do. Still, for some reason it got me really thinking. I spent so much of 2018 wishing for things to change and dreaming of a better place or time, more or less wasting the time I did have. I didn't think I could change things. I still have my doubts but this year I want to try. I'm not going to lie, last year was not my best. Not my worst but not my best. I couldn't find motivation, I didn't even want to change things, let alone believe I could. This year I want to do better. So, here, in no particular order, is a list of my goals.
1. This month, I plan to publish one of my books. I'm almost done proofing it and as long as I don't procrastinate too much, I can probably have it up by next week.
2. I have a couple other manuscripts that I can clean up, one that I haven't even finished the first draft of. I want to work on those, as well as write more poetry. Last year was mostly unproductive so I want to go for it this year. I want to write until I'm sick of it, so expect more updates. I can make no promises but I'm feeling determined.
3. This year I want to be confident. I'm introverted and though I've gotten so much better, I can still be shy. Sometimes I think I might even have some social anxiety. However, I want to be confident in my quiet, in who I am. I'm realizing that who I am is okay, it's who God made me to be, and even though I'm not outgoing, I can still be confident and stand tall.
4. One thing I know I need to work on is being more positive, more joyful. On a good day, I'm pessimistic, a wet blanket if you will. It goes along with being confident but I want to have God's joy in my life. I've spent too long being miserable and I want to change that. I know that once I have that, being confident might be easier.
5. I really want to lean back into God, work on my surrender. It's one of those things I've struggled with. As much as I trust Him and believe in His power and His love, I still find it hard to let go. I know He's going to ask me to do something that makes me uncomfortable, even afraid. He's going to ask me to do things that are hard, that I'll have to rely on Him for. They're not bad things, just intimidating things, and I like being comfortable and feeling safe. Still, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that He is faithful and worth trusting. In Him, I'll find my joy and confidence.
6. I need to focus more on the things that are important. Last year I got so caught up in my emotions, in the lack of motivation, that I didn't even try. I started slacking on my school work and let my books sit there uselessly. This year, I'm going to push myself to do better and buckle down on the things that do matter rather than the things that don't.
7. As much as I need to buckle down on some things, I know that there are also times I need to relax. I've always been mature. My parents made sure that they were honest with us, to treat us like people, not just children if that makes any sense. Between my upbringing, being homeschooled, or my personality, I'm just more mature than the people my age seem to be. I'm not saying that in an egotistical way, it has made social interactions difficult sometimes, it's just how I am. I get into the habit of taking myself too seriously. Yes, it's good to have expectations for myself but I also need to treat myself gently. I need to let myself relax and live, let myself laugh and smile and have fun. It's something I don't do enough of.
8. I want to push myself musically. I want to write songs and just get good at playing guitar. I'm not naturally musical so, it's been a journey to get to where I am today. I'm now at the point where I love doing it though I do struggle sometimes. This year I want to improve upon what I already know, learn new songs, write my own. That's something I'm really excited for.
9. I want to truly invest in my relationships, with my family and my friends. As an introvert, I've always singled out on person and invested in them. I've come to realize that it's not really healthy for either party, being that dependent on someone. It's good to have a best friend but I can't just forget about the people I'm not as close to. My best friend can and should have friends other than me and I can have friends other than her. Even if I don't develop that kind of a relationship with them, they're still worth investing in and I should give them that chance.
10. One of the things I've struggled with the most over the past couple of years is a negative self image. I'm so quick to speak negatively about and towards myself. I tend to avoid mirrors and always put effort into my appearance even if I don't think that I'm beautiful. It's one of those things that I've been slowly chipping away at and I'm going to keep doing that. This year I'm going to practice self care and try to be positive when regarding myself. I need to be more gentle and forgiving when I make mistakes or eat more than I probably should have. I want to love myself for what I look like and who I am, I want to love the person God sees and find my identity in Him.
11. Like so many others, I want to be healthy. I'm not too unhealthy as I usually eat well but I love chocolate and carbs and I'm lazy. At the very least, I just want to be fit enough to run away if I ever get attacked. Unfortunately, I hate exercise. Literally. Every time I've tried to start, I quit. People are also kind of pressuring me to do it and though I wish they would stop, I know it's for good reason. I want to try because it is important to take care of my body, but I'm not sure how that's going to work out (see what I did there? :)
12. Lastly, I guess I just want to make the most out of the year, out of every day. I've wasted so much time giving into negative thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I feel like I haven't really lived. I want to try new things, challenge myself, grow and learn. I want to be present and get out of my head. I want what I do to matter.
One thing that I wanted to mention was that I'm calling these goals, not resolutions. Dictionary.com defines a goal as "the result or achievement to which effort is directed," whereas a resolution is defined as "the act of resolving or determining upon an action." A resolution is just a feeling and though I feel resolved to do these things, feelings are just feelings. I have to act, direct my effort. The reason why I've never done New Year's resolutions is because I didn't think I could. So many people give up on them before anything actually happens. They're just feelings. Goals are something you have to work towards.
This is probably my longest blog post so far. This isn't what I normally do but I thought I'd try something different. What are some of your goals for this year? Was this style okay and would you like more journal type posts? Again, have a happy new year, go achieve those goals.
Yours Truly,
Rey.
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