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The last few months have been an absolute whirlwind. My family likes to call it silly season and I could not think of a better description. The holidays are always so overwhelming to me. There's so much going on and in your face and this party and that one, it gets to be too much for me. I suppose it's that way for a lot of us. And as cliché and overstated as, we really do need to take a step back and remember just what it is that we're celebrating. It's been a long year and I've been getting better at taking a moment to wait and listen but it's still hard most of the time. Life just keeps going and I want to keep up with it as best I can. C.S. Lewis said this, "Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done." Isn't that so true? Sometimes I have to go back over and over just in one day and readjust myself moment to moment. I lose sight so easily and get caught up in the mess around me. Humans are selfish creatures, more often than not, and I find it so hard to think about something other than myself. And that's not really in an egotistical way, it's that my problems seem more pressing than anything else around me and I give into moments of momentary comfort and my emotions instead of doing what I know I should be doing. That's a big reason my updates have been so sparse and I apologize. My goal at the beginning of this year was to write everyday and work on all my projects but that didn't really happen. So often I lose sight of what actually matters and I always end up regretting it later.
This season is also hard for me because we don't have family to spend it with. My parents immigrated to the states before I was born and to this day, we're still the only one's here. We used to go stay with my best friend's family but they no longer live in the U.S. It just gets lonely and I have the annoying tendency to wallow. I'm very good at wallowing, I'm afraid. It's so much easier to see what's directly in front of you and not work past it. Feelings and emotions are very present and loud.
This post is really more a reminder to myself, to stay focused on the one who deserves my undivided attention and to do what He's called me to do. His ways, I have found are perfect, and I really am tired of going my own way and listening to my emotions rather than Him.
I'm eternally grateful that the God I believe in is full of new mercies (Lamentations 3:23) and was willing to send His son to die for us. I'm glad that Jesus wasn't so much like us that he gave into the feelings of laziness or despair as often as we do and He did what He came here to do, what He was called to do. His job was infinitely harder than I think anything that God is calling us to do. As many times as we slip up and make mistakes, there is grace and provision. Nothing and no one is too far gone to be saved. We just have to pick ourselves back up again and, in the words of Van Gogh, "That is how I look at it; to continue, to continue, that is what is necessary."
Whatever you're going through or feeling this season, it's okay. You just have to simply begin again.
It's a little early but Merry Christmas!
-Rey
This season is also hard for me because we don't have family to spend it with. My parents immigrated to the states before I was born and to this day, we're still the only one's here. We used to go stay with my best friend's family but they no longer live in the U.S. It just gets lonely and I have the annoying tendency to wallow. I'm very good at wallowing, I'm afraid. It's so much easier to see what's directly in front of you and not work past it. Feelings and emotions are very present and loud.
This post is really more a reminder to myself, to stay focused on the one who deserves my undivided attention and to do what He's called me to do. His ways, I have found are perfect, and I really am tired of going my own way and listening to my emotions rather than Him.
I'm eternally grateful that the God I believe in is full of new mercies (Lamentations 3:23) and was willing to send His son to die for us. I'm glad that Jesus wasn't so much like us that he gave into the feelings of laziness or despair as often as we do and He did what He came here to do, what He was called to do. His job was infinitely harder than I think anything that God is calling us to do. As many times as we slip up and make mistakes, there is grace and provision. Nothing and no one is too far gone to be saved. We just have to pick ourselves back up again and, in the words of Van Gogh, "That is how I look at it; to continue, to continue, that is what is necessary."
Whatever you're going through or feeling this season, it's okay. You just have to simply begin again.
It's a little early but Merry Christmas!
-Rey
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