Growing and giving up

     The end of the year is fast approaching. We're in the last week of November and it's hard to believe. So much has happened this year but at the same time, it feels like we've done nothing but stay inside. I was watching a movie with my sister last week and there was a scene where the characters were in a grocery store. She pointed out how weird it was to see no one wearing a mask. I've been editing a manuscript and it's so strange to think of people functioning and living without all the craziness that happened. It's foreign, even though we were living in that world just  a few months ago. I don't know that things can go back to how they were but I hope that we can get there someday. I trust that God does have a plan for all the mess but I know we're not finished yet. 

    I've been thinking about surrender again. I'm finding that putting God first and letting him guide our lives is still easier said than done, and I'm finding that I'm not very at it. In so many areas in my life, God is still my afterthought and that needs to change. I need to change. When you look at the definition of surrender, it means to give something up and that is perhaps why we find it so hard to do. If we go to God, what is He going to ask of us? What will we have to let go of? We look at the Bible and we learn about Paul spending years of his life in prison, we see people called to the ministry die because of it. Granted, those seem a little extreme in this day and age but those things still happen. Even if we take it a smaller extreme, God could ask us to go where we're uncomfortable, to do things that seem impossible, to give more than we think we can afford, to let go of what's important to us. The disciples left the stability of their work and the comfort of their families. We like to feel safe and in control. I like making plans and I'm grateful for the freedom to dream. 

    Sadly, we don't really know what it is to be truly and fully loved. I don't think Christians talk about it as much as we should. When it comes down to it, that's the foundation of what we believe, not just that we were loved enough to be created but that someone would lay their life down for us. I was thinking the other day about language and being a total nerd about it. It's so incredible how we use shapes and sounds to communicate and how it's changed throughout time. It's different wherever you go and I love it. I'm constantly trying to challenge myself to be better and more responsible with my words, to use this gift and make the most out it. God spoke the entire universe into existence. He used His words and suddenly everything came into being. It's incredible and mind blowing. Then, you look at it and He handcrafted humanity. Speaking again would have been easy and miraculous but instead, He took His time. He planned your existence and mine from the very beginning and He has always loved us. He's seen us at our very worst and our very best and loved us through it all, enough to take the form of man, to carry the weight of our sins, and to die for us. 

    We hear and read all the stories scattered through the bible about miracles and we hear about God's love but it has no gravity. We have no idea what it's like to be so loved because we close ourselves off from it. We believe that love is real but how many of us actually live like that? And I'm not saying be reckless and thoughtless but if we started living in that place of love, maybe we could be braver. Maybe we could make more of a difference, we could be the salt and the light we've been called to be. I truly believe that God can move through us, that we can perform miracles. We can be so much more than who or what we see ourselves as. In order for us to do that though, we have to surrender. Matthew 10:39 says, "To find your life, you must lose your life-and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." He says it again in Matthew 16:25. We're brought to new life through Jesus but only when we let Him into our hearts and our lives. 

    Start small. I say this a lot but it's something I believe in. Little steps are always easier to take than big ones. Lay aside the things you know you shouldn't be doing or would be better of without. God will reveal things as they come and makes ways for you to grow. I know it's hard; I don't have all the answers and I certainly don't have it figured out but I pray that I'm getting there, slowly but surely. No matter what, I know that God isn't going to lead to a place where He hasn't been already. He's not going to give up or walk out on you. You bear His signature and craftsmanship, He's loved you before time's beginning. Surrender is a conscious effort, you can't lay your life down by accident. Rest in the assurance that it will be okay. God will give you the strength you need for each season and everything He's calling you too. Be faithful with what He's given you and learn to be selfless. 

    Allow yourself the space to let go and to grow from the learning. Let God take you to a place where you can't help but worship Him for who He is and what He's done, as well as what He's doing. Last week I wrote about gratitude and then went into a week where that was challenged. I don't know what this week will bring but I know that God will always see me through it. 

    For everyone celebrating Thanksgiving this year, I pray you have an excellent holiday! For everyone else, congratulations on making it this far! I don't know how much from this year is going to roll over into next but I think we're all holding onto hope that next year will be better. I pray that you all have a wonderful week and that you can find rest in this season. 

Yours Truly,

Rey