Being faithful in the stepping

     We're now two weeks into the new year and so much has happened. Just this past week, I've had plans made and cancelled, survived my first ever job interview, called someone I haven't talked to in a while and called the same person every day. We had snow while the sun was out and it was above freezing. I've read so many books, started writing a new one, and I'm looking deeper into pitching and sending queries to agents. It's terrifying but I'm trusting it to God's hands. If I were to have any goals or resolutions this year, that would be the biggest one. 

    I've talked so much about surrender and this is a part of that. I do believe that God created me with a passion for words and motivation to write and I hope I'm being faithful to put his light in every corner of every story but this is bigger than I am. Writing is the easy part but I cannot share that light unless I take the step towards getting it out there. It really bothers me when people, especially preachers, say that God can't do something. Why then do we talk about His omnipotence? It's something that gets under my skin because I never want to limit God like that. God can do anything He wants, He has that power, but He also gave some of that power to us when He created us in His image and called us to be His. I wish people would specify that God being able to do something doesn't mean God will do something but that doesn't mean He can't either. Does that make sense? God can, He's more than big enough, but unless I put my manuscript out there, an agent can't read it in order to decide if it's worth publishing or not. They have no access to my files and with the world in the state that it's in, how many agents am I going to come across in my day to day life? In James 2:14-26, James talks about how ridiculous it is to say you're a Christian, that you have faith, and then live in a way that denies that faith, about how commitment to Jesus only in words will not save you. Faith is shown in works performed in faith. That's why I say, writing is the easy part. It's easy for me to write what and how I want to write. Moving towards something bigger isn't easy. There's so much apprehension in the bigness of it all. On one hand, being a published author is something I've dreamed about for years. The fact that I could do this for the rest of my life excites me, to not just do what I love but to be fruitful in it as well. On the other side though, that means interacting with other human beings, which, if you don't know, terrifies me. It's nice to think about talking at writing conferences and go on book tours but that seems like a different version of myself, that can't possibly be me. It means pressure to write faster and cater to what the readers and publishers want. It means that my stories aren't mine as much as they were before but even now, I can't say that they are mine. Trusting them to God means letting them go, letting those words be His if they weren't before. God can snap His fingers and I could be making money off my books just like that but what would be the point of it? How much would I miss out on? A story is not a testimony but it can become one if we step towards what we've been called to do and give God the space to take care of the details. Sometimes there's more value in the stepping than in the miracle. 

    I try to talk about calling in simple terms like loving and showing kindness because I do believe that that's what Jesus called us to do when He asked us to follow Him. I do believe that call is greater than an occupation because as human beings, there's so much complexity to us. We're not just one thing. Unfortunately, there are so many people who call themselves Christians but aren't doing what Jesus called us to do. All I hear about Christians is about how much they hate. They push their beliefs onto others without the kindness or grace we were given when Jesus laid down His life. I don't know how to be better as a Christian but I do know the church needs to step up. At some point church became just a building and Christians the people that go there. We're not the body, not the bride we've been called to be. We spend so much time sitting and waiting for someone else to do something, waiting for God to perform a miracle, even though that same power lives inside of us. I was listening to a podcast this week about how blessed my generation is to have the internet and to have social media. In seconds, our words can be seen on the other side of the globe. We have the biggest platform to share the gospel and spread God's love so why aren't we doing it? What are we waiting for? What are we afraid of? I know how hard it is to be brave and obedient, even in the little things. I've spent so much time waiting for a bright light to shine from heaven and a grand voice to tell me what I'm supposed to do with my life but if I knew what God has in store for me, would I be able to do it? I'm already daunted by being a writer and a Christian and one day a wife and mother. If I knew how much more God has in store for me, because I believe that God does have a plan for my life, would I be able to do it? Would I have the courage?

    I know this is a lot, I'm sorry. When I started writing this, I was planning on writing about identity but like I said, I trust God with my words. Start being faithful in the easy things. Write and tell stories but don't stop there. Don't just be kind, go out of your way to be so. Don't just love, love with all your heart especially when it's hard. Learn to be obedient in the little things. Bravery requires steps and God will not forsake us in what He has planned. Waiting on the Lord doesn't always need to happen in a quiet time. Wait on Him and His voice while you love, while you do what you know you've been called to do. Everything we build comes in pieces. There's a process and a time for everything. You cannot build a house until there's a foundation, you can't have a foundation unless the land has been cleared. I do not want to limit God, I know that He is capable of all things, but as much as He is all powerful, He is also all knowing and all loving. There are things I have to learn still, places where growth needs to happen, before I can fulfill a certain area of my calling, and that means doing something else in the meanwhile. I don't know if I am called to speak, it scares me to think about it, but until I can share what's written and trust God with that, I don't think I can make the jump to speaking. In Jeremiah, God speaks about the plans He has, "plans for peace, not evil, to give you a future and hope." God is a father and a lover and a friend, he knows the steps that need to take place and the materials we need to build. I believe there's wisdom in the things God keeps to Himself. 

    So often, I've heard the words, "hold onto what you know." I might have written on that subject before but I think we all need that reminder sometimes. We need to remember that we are loved, that God is in control. What we know has a greater influence on our life right now than what we don't know. I don't know the legacy God is asking me to leave but whatever I do, I want my life to be one of love, both for Him and for His creation. I want to be faithful in the little things so that I can be entrusted in much, not for my own gain but for the world that is falling apart around us, for the hearts that are broken and the lives that are lost. If that means finding the courage and the faith to step, then I trust God to be there alongside me and to send people to mentor and guide me. I don't want faith to be something I just talk about, I want to live it out in every area of my life. Mustard seed faith is a beautiful place to begin and there's so much grace for that season but what's the point of a seed if it doesn't grow?

    God, help my faith and my trust in you to grow. Help me to make you my priority, to put you first in every season. I want to step in obedience to what you say, to follow your plan for my life. Teach me to set aside any selfish desires and to seek your will and your ways. I ask that you give me the courage I need. Father, let me be a light in the world around me. Let my faith and my actions point to you. Thank for the grace you've given me to learn, to make mistakes and grow from them. Thank you for the love you've given me, help me to live in and from that space. I love you, Lord. 

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

As always, thank you for reading. I hope these last couple weeks have been kind to you or that, if they haven't, that you've been able to find rest. I pray that the words I write are encouraging to you. Have such a blessed day!

Yours Truly, 

Rey