To be in Christ

     I start my new job today, which is terrifying and exciting all at once. I've done very little aside from babysitting and I'm looking forward to a change of pace and, honestly, an income. With that said, I am nervous. On top of being homeschooled for our entire school careers, my siblings and I are very close in age. We're friends with the same group of people and do a lot of the same things together. I haven't done much on my own and that's honestly what scares me the most. I'm looking to my future, wondering about marriage and careers, and it's only a matter of time before my family is scattered. I know this is good and right, especially in God's timing, but it makes me sad sometimes. I love my family and this feels like a step towards adulthood and the inevitable leaving them.

    I feel like so many of the topics I discuss go hand in hand and I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record sometimes. I think that's part of what being a Christian is about though. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that if anyone is in Christ, they are made new; "the old has gone, the new has come." That means changing the way we interact, both with others and with ourselves. More than that, I think there's a difference between being in Christ and Christ being in us. When we make the decision to accept the gift Jesus gave when He died on a cross and invite Him into our lives, that's salvation. However, there's so much more to being a Christian than believing in God. The bible says that even the demons know and fear Him. We have to be in God as much as we allow Him to be in us. The bible describes salvation as opening a door to let Jesus in. Today we have such things as enter only and exit only doors but once it's open, you can pass through. Before we even make the decision to follow Jesus, He's already gracious to be there. His door is always, always open and we have the opportunity to dwell in Him.

    I've been meditating a lot on what it means to put God first. It means surrender, which I've talked on and on about, I know, but what does that look like? When we were created in His image, I believe God gave us His creativity and curiosity. We were made to ask questions, to dig deeper and collect knowledge. God Himself asked questions (though admittedly, most of them where rhetorical). In writing, we have the five W's: who, what, where, when, and why. We also have how. Most questions are built off of these words and it's okay if all you do is ask God questions. We were created and even invited to ask questions and whether it's right away or not, I believe that God does answer us.

    I'm not perfect. I don't have it all figured out and I'm so very human. But, I do have a couple ideas on the how, things that I'm doing myself and trying to do. The first one being, read your bible. I'm sure you've heard this one so many times, I know I have, and I know how hard it is to do. At this point, I don't have the wherewithal for God to speak to me through scripture and I know how disappointing it can be when you see someone else getting so much out of it but they're still His words. You don't have to read the whole bible in a year or any number of chapters or books. There's grace in the learning and you really don't have to do it alone. Look for bible plans, ask for advice from someone who's already doing it, invite friends to join you. I like doing it first thing in the morning, which admittedly has not been my greatest idea because it can take me five minutes to wake up, but it's quiet and still and there hasn't been time for my brain to start thinking and for me to get busy. All reading is intentional but it's especially true with the bible. Set aside ten minutes. Even if you're not a fast reader, you'll be surprised by how much you can read. 

    Look for pockets. I'm not as good with this one but I hope to be better. If you're driving somewhere, taking a shower, going for a walk, or before you go to sleep, give that time to Him. Some days it's easier to find quiet times than to make them. When I sit down sometimes to say, "okay, God, you have five minutes," my brain tends to be active still. I can't listen because I'm too busy talking or getting distracted. It can feel like I'm just sitting and that genuinely stresses me out. I feel like I should be doing something. Putting God first is not going to happen overnight. It takes intentionality, as I've talked about before, so start small. Praise Him when you think about it. Talk to Him instead of using that time to stress about this or that. Choose worship music or Christian podcasts over whatever else you're listening to. Pray for people when you think about them. Let God into your life, no matter how small it seems. It really doesn't have to be complicated.

    Revelation 2:4 refers to God as our first love. He knew us before time began and provided a way for us to dwell in and with Him. We weren't created to face our fears or celebrate our victories alone, God has been with us through it all and will continue to be. Look for ways to be with Him as much as He promises to be with us. Make the decision to love Him first and try to be obedient, even when it seems impossible. Be intentional with the time you've been given. Lean into Him as much as you can and it will get easier. Your faith will grow as you see God's hand in your life and you step in obedience. Don't be afraid to come back and to keep coming back when you make a mistake. You've already been forgiven and covered. I cannot stress enough just how much love and mercy and patience God has given us. You can always come back. 

Yours Truly,

Rey