Love is greater

     Hello at last! It feels like it's been ages since I've sat down to write, and in a sense, it has been. I had the weekend off, which was strange because I haven't had a weekend to myself that didn't require me taking time off. I didn't get any writing done; it wasn't a priority, I'm afraid. Some days it feels like I'm on a plateau when it comes to writing. Last summer, I wrote a book that I absolutely adore and so of course I want to do something like that again but a feeling is not a plot. I actually need to force myself to sit down and come up with a plot but outlining is remarkably tedious and I avoid it whenever possible. People often say that if you can make money doing what you love, your work will never be work but that's not entirely true. There are aspects of everything that, even if it's something we love, it can be hard. In order to tell a story well, I need a story to tell, and that means doing something I don't love. Isn't that life though? Human beings have such a great capacity to love and create but it's selective. From an early age, we develop likes and dislikes and then we create so many challenges for ourselves. As often as human beings, as often as I, procrastinate, that doesn't mean we stop loving something. 

    I've talked about relationships a couple of time on here before and you'll forgive me for going into it again. Relationships are hard, no matter what kind. Like the interests we have, there are parts that we adore and parts that we avoid as long as possible. It's great to be friends with someone until you disagree with something that's important to both of you. It's great to be in love with someone but what if you don't have the same long term goals? I may have mentioned this before but I have one friendship that's been long term. Everyone else I've drifted from and haven't bothered to keep up with outside of liking their posts on Instagram. Maybe this is more normal and common than people talk about but it's something that I've struggled with for a long time. It's so easy for me to get stuck in my head about it, to blame myself as if it's entirely my fault that I'm not friends with those people or that there's something wrong with me which is why I don't know how to make friends in the first place. And maybe there's validity to some of it. In the end, there will always be more that we could've done but that doesn't change the fact that life just happens and it's okay if people are only in your life for a time. 

    Relationships are hard for me to write about on here because I feel like I'm not very good at them. In my head, I know it's as simple as texting someone when you think about them and replying to emails as soon as you receive them. I don't know how to encourage people in this area because I need encouragement myself more often than not. I need to be pushed and challenged. I wish someone else would put in the effort so that I wouldn't have to. It's an unreasonable request, I know. It's unfair of me to expect something that I'm not willing to give. All I know is that I do love people. I find them so interesting and wonderful and they are. You, dear reader, are miraculous and incredible. 

    We are capable of doing hard things. Being afraid is not the end of the world as long as we find a way to move past it, to learn from it. It shouldn't hold us back from the things that matter. What we love is always greater than what we're afraid of. Having courage seems like such a large task sometimes and sometimes it is but nothing in life happens all at once. Life happens in seasons and bravery can happen one step at a time. I suppose the point is to just keep moving forward, no matter what. We are better for what we overcome and I truly believe that God moves in our stepping as much as in our waiting. I've been saying this a lot lately but we really do have to move if we expect God to do something. I said it earlier, it's unfair to expect what you're refusing to give. There's so much more to life then just me and I want to be a light for someone. I want to be able to brighten someone's day but that takes effort. Relationships, no matter what kind, aren't one sided. I still believe they're worth fighting for, worth trying for. In Genesis 2, we see that we weren't meant to be alone. That means being brave sometimes, it means being confrontational, it means being selfless. Love much, no matter what that looks like. Be the friend you need. 

    As always, thank you for reading! I'm sorry about missing last week's post and I'm not sure this one makes up for it but if you made it this far, thanks again. 

Yours Truly,

Rey