Grace for Seasons

    This weekend, I was blessed to be able to go on a ladies getaway to the mountains. Now, I'm a little biased against every mountain range that is not the Rockies but, I will happily admit that the Smokey Mountains have their merits. It was nice to get away, especially with everything that's happened recently. The North Carolina governor has pushed phase 3 back again and the small hope that I could actually have a graduation ceremony was taken away again when things didn't work out. I had a productive couple of days applying to writing jobs, none of which have gotten back to me. It's been demotivating and frustrating. I know that this is what I want to do with my life and what I believe I've been called to do but, I'm not sure where to look or how to start. Needless to say, I was kind of a mess at the beginning of this week. Either stress or PMS was making me unbelievably squishy and prone to tears. I needed a weekend away, though the thought of not being able to talk to my boyfriend, who has been very kind and steady in the midst of me feeling overwhelmed by it all, took a second for me to get over. It was good, not perfect but, I know that it was healthy for me to take a moment to breathe.

    It was truly lovely there. There were rivers and lakes and fireflies and rainstorms. I went whitewater rafting, which I never have to do again but it was good to know that I could do it. I got to read my favorite book and eat shortbread and I was not without tea, which is probably my saving grace. Tea is magic and I cannot be convinced otherwise. One of the nights was clear and the combination of little-to-no light pollution and decent elevation made stargazing brilliant. All I could think about was the verse in Psalms 147:4 (though it also says it in Isaiah 40:26) that says God put the stars in place and calls them each by name. I sat there in wonder of it all because there are so many stars and I can't even see them all. They twinkle like in the nursery rhyme and form different shapes and they're bright and magnificent. Most of the time when I'm in nature, I'm faced with the vastness of creation. The fact that the same God who created such beauty loves me enough to send His son to die astounds me every time. 

    Romans 1:20 says, "From the beginning, creation in it's magnificence enlightens us to His nature. Creation itself makes His undying power and divine identity clear, even though they are invisible; and it voids the excuses and ignorant claims of these people." One of the things that I think about is the fact that people don't look at the beauty around them, whether it be water or rocks or stars and assume that it came from nothing. Like in the verse, I feel like creation testifies the glory and existence of a creator. I don't understand how people don't see that when it's so clear to me, though, it is me, I suppose. And maybe I only see things that way because of the way I was raised. All our science curriculum was Christian and my mom has been passionate about apologetic's and creation science for a very long time. I've been taught to see God in everything. Still, I don't understand how someone can look at something as simple and everyday as clouds and think that it's all happenstance. 

    My mom has been working very hard on her garden this year and my sister and I have our own flower garden. Except for the weeds, it's doing brilliantly. There are so many flowers of all different shapes, colours, and sizes. I smile every time I see them, as well as the bees and butterflies that come to pollinate. We also have hummingbird feeders so we those often. Hummingbirds are adorable, not to mention stunning, but also really cool. In the mountains, we saw several cardinals. Everything just works and is in it's place and perhaps that's why I enjoy nature. For the most part, I would much rather be curled up with a book or in a place that has air conditioning and internet. Summer is my least favorite season, it's hot and humid and not every mosquito eats my sister. There is very little that appeals to me but I'm always surprised by what comes out of it. We've never had this many flowers or pollinators in our garden and I enjoy picking flowers for the dining room table. Our blueberries were abundant this year. I got to swim in rivers and lakes and watch birds and fireflies. For everything I dislike, there is always good to be found.

    Everything has it's place and it's purpose, according to God's plan. Nothing is worthless or wasted. All of creation testifies to the creativity and goodness of God and it always amazes me. I spend far too much time questioning Him and wondering if He's actually listening or if He's as tired of me as I am. However, He isn't human which is actually very helpful. He doesn't follow the same rules or expectations and though it can be frustrating, He doesn't always speak in the way you want Him to. That doesn't mean that He's silent or ignoring you. I see God all around me in people, plants, animals, all of it. He's the good that I see. God put the clouds and the sunsets in the sky for me to take pictures of and helped the flowers grow for me to enjoy. Maybe that sounds a little selfish but it's a nice thought. God knew that seeing sunflowers would make me smile. No, He's not speaking specifically to every situation I find myself in or as clearly as I wish he would but He is not silent and I am not forsaken. He makes beautiful things and at the risk of being obnoxiously cliché, it's encouraging to know that if God can help forests grow from small seeds, He can make something out of me.

    We are not small or insignificant. In the vastness of creation, there is nothing else like us and nothing more beloved. We are God's prized creation and we could never stray too far or mess up too much to separate us from that love. To Him, we are more beautiful than the stars and hold much more value. We have been perfectly placed and given a purpose that only we can do and He is faithful to see us through. God is all around us, in everything we see, and we are not alone. That's another thing I've been saying a lot lately but it's so important. As humans, our emotions can get the best of us and it's so easy to feel alone. Sometimes we even do it to ourselves. The miraculous thing is that we don't have to be alone. God gives us strength and courage where we lack it and is there to guide us when we don't know where to go. Yes, it can take time, I'm having to learn that, but that doesn't mean He isn't there. 

    Take a step back. Find some sunshine and breathe. There is wonder and goodness to be found and whatever you're going through or not going through, there's grace for your season. God knows your name and He will meet you no matter where you are. 

    Thanks for reading. I hope that I can be at least somewhat of an encouragement, though I feel like everything I've said today has been pretty cliché. It's definitely been a while since I've written something like this. Thank you for taking time for it anyways.

Yours Truly,

Rey