Small and Simple.

     As I begin to write this, I'm all too aware of how close we are to the end of the year. We have two days left in September and my sister is already talking about Christmas and listening to Christmas music. Even Costco has gotten their Christmas stuff up and ready to sell. And as this year has been messy, I know that it's good for change to come and for things to come to an end but there's still so much unfinished. My birthday is in October and with everything that's happened this year, I've been wondering if I should celebrate or if it wouldn't be worth. I had so many dreams that have been left to collect dust. I haven't accomplished as much as I wanted to or hoped to. Sometimes it feels like I'm still praying the same prayers and asking the same questions. I started things I wasn't able to finish because I got stuck or felt unmotivated; I've stumbled and made mistakes. I'm not where I thought I'd be and wanted to be. This year has lasted a lifetime and it's easy to be overwhelmed by the drama and the chaos around us. But the seasons are still changing and I know that there has been good that I never saw coming. God had plans and promises that He brought into fruition. 

    I've been talking about worth a great deal lately and this is a continuation of that. Humans are such negative creatures; we focus so easily on the mistakes and the regrets rather than turning our attention to the good that we see. In news outlets, people are so quick to report on the mess we're in rather than the good that is going on. Even church can be so serious sometimes. We don't know how to be joyful because it's no longer being taught. In a world when you can be whoever or whatever you want, we've lost the value of identity and I think that's why we search for it in our accomplishments. We think we need to do something spectacular to be remembered and to make a difference and when you don't see that, it's easy to get downhearted. Whether you're stuck in a job you don't like or you're like me and you don't know what you want to do or should do, it's easy to doubt your value in the mundane. I think that in every one of us, there's something that tells us we should be doing more or better or different than what we're doing now and that gets disappointed when we don't see things changing. We feel like we lose our significance in laziness and procrastination but even when we're doing our best, it's never enough. We compare our lives to social media posts and the progress of others. Everything becomes complicated and convoluted. 

    I look at my success or rather, lack thereof, and continually question God about why and when and how; what am I supposed to do, and does what I'm doing actually matter? I want to make plans and move towards making my dreams a reality but I don't know how to go about doing that. I think I need to publish novels in order to be successful or have so many views on my blog and be making x amount of money. I wonder if I need a degree and a fancy job and if the people who have those things are happy. Take a step back. I understand just how frustrating it is to feel like your life is standing still and there's nothing you can do about it. You feel trapped and small, your life feels meaningless and your worth insignificant. Knowing that God has a plan and a purpose isn't the same as knowing that plan and purpose. Fortunately, God does not measure success and accomplishment the same way we do. There are a great many instructions laid out in the Bible on how to live.  Micah 6:8 says, "No. He has told you, mortals, what is good in His sight. What else does the Eternal ask of you But to live justly and to love kindness and to with your True God in all humility?" We're told to love God and love people, to serve the people around us, and live a life that brings honor and glory to Him. 

    In our overthinking and overcomplicating, we take power out of what we do. Not everything we're called to do is going to be straightforward and easy but there's still so much we can do. Moses was the only one called to part the Red Sea, the Israelites were just called to walk. If you're faithful in the little things, God can make big things out them. You have no idea the impact you have, even if it's as small as taking care of a pet or a family member or a friend. Your smiles and "I love you's" make more of a difference than you give yourself credit for. God can perform miracles but He moves through and in people and use you to bring change. Every Wednesday, I make a two year old's day just by pushing her on the swing and she makes mine when she beams at me or gives me a hug. My boyfriend makes me feel loved and important every time we talk, even if he just listens and doesn't say anything. Your importance doesn't need to be measured by where you are with your life and what it looks like compared to the people around you. Love, and allow yourself to be loved. Take initiative in your friendships and your church. Tell people how much they mean to you. Do your best, even if it doesn't seem or feel like a lot. Make each day an act of worship. You are far more capable than you realize and life is simpler than we make it out to be. Allow God to use you in the small things more than just the big things. Let small miracles be just as spectacular, if not more so, than the big ones.

    As always, thank you so much for reading. I lost my train of thought a little bit but I hope that this humble offering meant something for you. Your views mean the world to me. 

Yours Truly,

Rey.