Restoration in the little things

     Before I get into it, I do want to apologize for my post last week. I know it's a mess. One thing I'm good at is having an idea and even a point only to get muddled as soon as words are actually involved. I'll probably leave it up because mistakes and messes are important for my growth and a reminder to do better. I know I can never be perfect and my best is never the same day to day, sometimes even moment to moment but I'm thankful for the grace to try and to learn. 

    My family and I watched a sermon on Sunday where the preacher talked about growth. It feels like there hasn't been much of that this year. We've watched time pass from inside our homes and haven't been apart of it. As relieved as we are to face a new year and leave this all behind us, I want to encourage you to finish strong. I was miserable at the beginning of this year. I was finishing my final year of school and trying to figure what I wanted to do with my life and how to do it. There was a lot going on inside my head and I felt alone in all of it. I knew God was there but He wasn't first in my life. Granted, I can't say that He is today but I like to think I've gotten better. Since December last year, I've had to rely on Him more each day and as frustrating as it is sometimes, I'm glad not to be so alone anymore.

    Growth is gradual. And maybe this seems obvious to everyone but we forget it so easily when looking at our own lives. We look at what's going around us, especially this year, and wonder why so little has changed. Even when we hit milestones, there's a lot that looks and feels the same as the day before. This is most apparent on birthdays. You get to that day and, in truth, you really are just a day older than the one before. You don't age a year in one day. It's a process and it takes time. The differences are small and they can seem insignificant until you look back and see that all that little added up to be much more than you were expecting. My life still isn't where I want it to be, I know that God isn't finished with me, but I pray that my faith is growing every day and that I will get better at this. Part of believing in God means believing in myself. The last thing I want is to be selfish about it but I think it's also selfish to believe that God sent His Son for everyone but me. I also can't talk about love as much as I do and then not make the decision to live in it myself. God has chosen me for a specific purpose and though He is capable of performing miracles in an instant, there's a lot more value in gradual miracles. From the moment I was conceived and even before that, God saw me and knew me. He had a plan for my life and made a way for me to find my life in Him and to have a relationship through the death of His Son. 

    A lot of Christians are familiar with the expression, "God has three answers to prayer; yes, no, and wait." Most of the time, I think yes and wait are the same answer. Jesus came to restore and that's not an easy process. Things have been stolen and broken and abandoned. As human beings, we hold on to things that we should've moved on from and let go of. We hide behind things we think give us security. Restoration isn't entirely about rebuilding and repainting. There are things that have to be stripped away before that can happen. God's plan is different from our own and genuinely better. In John 15:2 Jesus says, "My father examines every branch in Me and cuts away those that do not bear fruit. He leaves those bearing fruit and carefully prunes them so that they will bear more fruit..." Miracles sometimes need to be gradual for us to end up where we need to be. Sometimes the answer really is yes but it requires us to wait. I know that it's hard, believe me, but I do know that it's always worth it. I've tried so often to accomplish things in my own strength only for God's plan to come to fruition anyway. 

    This year has been insane and unpredictable. There were plans that I had made that didn't work out the way I expected them to but I'm not where I started and that's honestly enough for me. There are still days when I question my dreams and days where I do feel alone but I really am in a good place. As I get older, time seems to go by so much faster and I think that, as humans, we expect other things to happen quickly to. Don't disregard the little things and the small victories. A lot happened this year and there has been a great deal of disappointment. I know what it's like to have made plans and dreamed dreams that never happened but don't end this year feeling like it was wasted. Let God use the little bit and turn it into a lot. Let the day by day growth add up. Make the decision to trust God and let Him use everything that happened. 

    Thank you to everyone who read my blog this year! I hope that the rest of your week goes splendidly and pray that you all have a happy new year. I may take next week off though I haven't decided yet but don't be surprised if you don't see an upload. Either way, I'll see you next year!

Yours Truly,

Rey.