Faithfulness through seasons

     I apologize for the lateness of this! Between last week and this week, I've been pretty much pulling full time hours at work and though I tried to get this done earlier in the week, it just didn't happen. On top of that, the battery in my car died so I had that exciting experience and am now out of almost $100 but I suppose this is what adult life is like. I'm tired. I can't complain too much, or at least, I'm really trying to be better about being content in every circumstance. I knew that there was going to be stress that comes with being an employee but this hit me pretty hard this week. I feel like I've never been so tired and I so wish I had the ability to nap. I feel so stupid complaining about it though because I am making more than minimum wage and I know that, especially after last year, I'm lucky to be employed. This is, in some ways, what I signed up for. Unfortunately, it's easier to talk about gratitude in every season than to express it. I've also been reconsidering college and that just adds stress and complications. Adulthood is definitely overrated but I will survive. 

    The week, I had my last day in Acts! So much happens and honestly, most of it sucks. Yes, the church grows exponentially but so much happens. My situation is a breeze compared to beatings, death, imprisonment, shipwrecks, snakebites, and endless persecution. The revelation of what God had done for them was so much bigger and more important than anything they were facing and though I'm sure they also struggled to find contentment sometimes, their faith seems greater than mine. In Matthew, Jesus tells us that if we have faith as small as a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Obviously, we have no need to move mountains but it's still an enormous concept. Construction has changed a great deal through out history but mountains are still tricky to move and navigate through. To just speak to a mountain and it moves would be an incredible thing and I can't quite fathom it. 

     From Acts 14 until the end of the book, we see Paul's ministry after his conversion in Acts 9. The very man who was persecuting Christians, putting them in prison, putting them on trial, and putting them to death, became one of the greatest missionaries in Christian history. That's kind of what I want to talk about today. In Acts 9:15, God calls Paul a chosen instrument. The same zeal he had used to persecute and murder was put towards sharing the gospel, the good news, of Jesus. Everything was forgiven. Paul took his revelation of who God is and preached even before Caesar. God used him for who he was, all He asked in return was for Paul to trust Him. Though sometimes it doesn't look like it, God never failed to look after Paul. Even through being beaten, imprisoned, shipwrecked, and poisoned, Paul's faith didn't waver and God never left him.  

    We are also chosen instruments. If you're like me then your faith feels small and you feel like God couldn't possibly use someone like you. I've made mistakes and done things I regret, we all have, but God used a man who persecuted Him to minister to kings. When Paul became a Christian, he still had the same drive and passion, it just changed directions. I've said it before, I'm sure, but God will use what you have. He will use your personality and passions. Now, that doesn't mean that change isn't required. In 2 Chronicles, God promises that if we pray, follow His commandments, and abandon any actions or thoughts that would lead us to sin, then we will be forgiven and saved and healed. Our lifestyle needs to change but that doesn't mean we aren't enough as we are. We are image bearers, created and chosen for such a time as this with purpose on our lives. We were created with intentionality, who we are is not a mistake. There's a lot about me that I don't understand. I feel so awkward sometimes and unsure in who I am. I don't understand the way I am sometimes but I have to trust that I was made intentionally and God will be faithful with me. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says this: "For everything that happens in life-there is a season, a right time for everything under heaven." Maybe you have something that seems out of place right now but seasons always change and I truly believe that we were created for a specific time and purpose, even if we don't know what it is yet. We aren't an accident. We aren't lost and we aren't alone. God will use what we've seen and been through and use who we are, no matter how impossible it seems. He turned a baby into a savior and a murderer into a missionary. There are things in my life that I can look back on and thank God for bringing me through them. I pray that one day, I can be a chosen instrument, that what I've done, even if it was a mistake, can be used to bring hope and show God's love and grace. 

    You were created with intention and purpose. Who you are is not a mistake, even if you feel awkward and out of place. I, for one, feel like a mess more often than not but God has promised to be faithful if we choose to love Him. I know how hard it can be to feel lost, to wonder why you're here and what you're supposed to do, but I can see God's faithfulness through every season of my life and I know He will continue to be. I really do hope and pray for the best for you. Please know that you're not alone and that you are dearly loved.

Yours Truly,

Rey