Slow down a little

         As a kid, everyone tells you that you should enjoy the time you have, to stop wishing to grow up, and I think I understand now. Having responsibilities sucks. Having bills sucks. I've talked about gratitude often on here but now I'm really having to live it and re-center myself. It's so easy to get caught up in all the frustration an exhaustion and it makes you short-sighted. I get so stuck in me and that adds to the frustration. It's a vicious cycle and I'm slowly learning how to navigate through it. My parents tell me that my hours are good, that's the point of a job, I'm making money, and I know all of this. That's why I'm there in the first place but I'm tired. I haven't been able to write as much as I want to because I'm working full time hours. It's just hard to know that things will work out one day but that means sucking it up for a while. It's easier to write about contentment and gratitude than to live it. 

    Today I want to talk about taking things slowly. I feel like we hear it pretty often these days. People talk about living in the moment, doing whatever you want to do and being who you feel you are, because, after all, you only have one life. As in everything, there are pros and cons to living like this. There are long term consequences to momentary decisions. Doing whatever you feel like, even if it feels good in the moment, shapes your future and who you're going to be. I think there is validity of taking advantage of the time we've been given, especially if you're young because you can change your mind if you want to. We live in a culture of unimaginable possibilities but we do have to be mindful of what future we're moving towards. That's part of what I mean by taking things slowly. I've done a lot of things that I regret, things that I look back on and think, things would be so different if I hadn't done that, why did I do that? I think everyone has moments like that. Taking things slowly means living each day in each day, being mindful of the future. We can't just do whatever we want to do and resolve to fix it all later. Bad habits are stubborn and hard to deal with and you'll hear this all the time but it's better not to develop them in the first place. In several sermons, I've heard pastor Levi Lusko say "now yells louder, but later lasts longer." So, yes, live in the moment, take advantage of the opportunities you have, but be wise in the decisions you make. 

    The other side of taking things slowly is almost counter to my previous paragraph. Something that I'm marvelous at doing is overthinking and stressing about the future. I'm almost too conscious of it. I still have so many dreams that I want to see come into fruition without knowing how to actually get there. It's so easy to get caught up trying to figure things out and make them work in our own strength but the here and now is far more important. It's going to be hard to get to your destination if you're going the wrong direction. Having been so frustrated with work, this has been harder. I'm tired and frustrated. It feels like I don't have time to do the things that I want. I'm having to force myself to take breaks, read and write when I can, just prioritize the things that are really important. Work is important but so are the things that I really love. When I can't find joy in the bigger circumstances, I need to start looking for it and creating it when I can. There are always things to be happy about and grateful for and honestly, sometimes just getting through the day is a challenge. Today was hard. Today was really hard but I got to see ducklings and sit with my dog in the sun and take a drive by myself to someplace other than work. Last night I went to a young adults group for the first time and I'm glad for the opportunities that come. It's such a relief to enjoy days without putting so much emphasis and importance on the future.

    Living slowly means being mindful of your future but not obsessed with it. Your life is in the here and now, not in the future, and it's important to live while you can. You have to live for today, not for one day. Does that make sense? Jesus didn't spend his entire time on earth preparing to die. He lived and taught and worked and mourned and loved. His death was the most important event in human history but I've said it before; if he had just come as a man, died, risen, and left again, he wouldn't have had much of an impact. Part of what made his death so worthwhile was the fact that he lived. So let your faith carry you through each day, take the time to build on something, someone, who matters and who will not fail, nor will he hold our failures over us. Let him prepare and provide a future you. I know it's easier said than done but I'm trusting that it's worth it. I can't talk about how loved we are and then not give God the chance to prove it. 

    Take time to breathe. Take time to find some sunshine, whether literally or figuratively. Find something to make you smile and hold onto it. 

Yours Truly,

Rey