Intentional Pursuit

     Hello again! I begin this with great relief, as I do not have a busy work week and thus, I will hopefully be in a better emotional state as I write this, though I'm sure I'll be disappointed when I get my paycheck next week. Exhaustion does very little to help with frustration and stress and I felt that last week. There are things and I know how to think it through rationally but my emotions always move to the forefront and my logic doesn't always help how overwhelmed I feel. As a Christian too, this can be hard because I know God has a plan for my life, I read about His promises and believe Him faithful to keep them but that doesn't mean I never have questions or doubts. I'm not always willing to commit to something unless I understand the process and there's a plan and that makes this faith difficult. I like knowing and God likes to be a mystery. He likes to be searched for. It's a relationship but I know I don't always treat it as such. So often, religion is used for personal gain. We want to get something out of it. Christianity is interesting this way because, yes, God makes good promises, such as peace, long life, eternal love, and so much more but the only way we can have those things is to surrender. I talked about this last week but I might go into it again because that's where I am at the moment.

    I've been wanting to dig deeper into my faith lately, to make it more about God and my relationship with Him rather than just a belief system, because I believe that's what Christianity is supposed to be. We were formed out of love, out of a desire for relationship. It's silly to hold this to be true and then not partake in it. If we want to get to know a person, we make the effort to be with that person, to make conversation. It's something we pursue. I'm sure a lot of Christians can relate but a lot of the time I spend with the Lord is me venting my frustrations and praying for answers. I go to Him to get something while giving very little in return. If this was a relationship with another person, that relationship would not last very long, would it? No, and nor should it. It's toxic and miserable. So why do we treat our Creator, our Father, this way? Out of all the relationships worth pursuing, surely this relationship is the most important of all. He's the one who created it, who created love, curiosity, and humanity. In 1 John 4, John says that we love because we were first loved. He says that God is love and that we cannot love without Him. He is love itself. Why do we run from it? 

    I think we all have people that we would die for if it was necessary but at the same time, there are people we wouldn't die for. There are people who have hurt and wronged us, people that we're not particularly keen on interacting with, let alone dying for. If you read the bible, especially the old testament, you see God's chosen people turn their backs on Him again and again. Hosea is one of my favorite stories in the bible, I'm sure I've talked about it on here before but, to sum up, Hosea was a prophet instructed to marry a prostitute and have children with her. It's actually kind of a scary book to read, if I'm honest. His union with Gomer represents God's relationship with Israel. His children are called "separated," "shown no mercy," and "not my people," symbolizing God's desire to reject Israel and her people. She is a soiled bride, adulterous and disloyal. She pursues things that will not satisfy her, even when she knows that what she has with her husband is better. Hosea goes after Gomer when she walks away from him because he knows that the life he wants to give her is better too. It's frustrating to pursue something with little to no return. It's hard to love someone that doesn't care to love you. In chapter 3, Hosea has to go after her and buy her back after she had become a slave to her lover. Love costs him something but he does it anyway. She's worth it, even after all the pain she has called. This book is such a beautiful picture of the gospel, though it happens hundred of years before Jesus's birth, death, and resurrections. It vividly paints God's righteous anger, justice, mercy, and desire for true relationship with His people.

    The old testament also uses the word covenant frequently as a word for a promise because it carries greater weight and integrity than just a promise. The original Hebrew translation defines it as a sacred kinship bond. In a sermon called The Go Again of God, pastor Michael El-Takrori defines covenant as this: "I will be who I should be, even when you are not who you should be." Covenant is a God established union, sealed through the death and resurrection of His son. This means that no matter what you do, no matter how many times you make mistakes and turn your back on Him, He will still show you mercy. Until you die, there will always be grace and infinite love poured out over you because God wants relationship with you. That's why we were created! God desires relationship with us and so He made it that we could walk in that if we choose to do so. There's nothing stopping us from entering into that. 

    Pursuit of God is more than just being a good person. Because we were created out of love, all of humanity has the capacity to be generous and kind, even if they don't acknowledge the One from whom that love originates. Relationship is taking time to get to know someone. The best way we have to know our Creator is to read His word. Now, I've struggled to make this a habit of mine, I know how hard it is, but when I do take time not just to read but to study as well, I see a facet of God that I hadn't known. God's anger and judgement in Hosea isn't stronger than His mercy. I see so much of His grace, His desire to know us and to be given the opportunity to love us, in Hosea. We see His creativity in Genesis with creation. We see diplomacy in His relationship with Moses, His faithfulness with Abraham, His justice and His mercy. The Bible is so much more than a collection of stories and rules. It's a window into someone we can never completely fathom but who loves us enough that He gave us a tool to see His character. He wants us to know how much He loves us and it's bigger than just Jesus. This faith is supposed to be more than just a hope to get us through the ups and downs of this life and this world we live in, it's a life we're invited to live. There's love freely given and accessible and I believe it's worth investing in. God is worth pursuing and that means taking time to listen and study. It means letting go of selfish desires and making time to spend with the One who loves us more than we can ever know or fathom. I see it in His word, the bible, and all it's stories. Why would you want to believe in someone you barely know, whether He would die for you or not? Get to know Him. Take advantage of the grace we've been given to be in relationship. Take time to learn who God is. 

Yours Truly,

Rey